Life lessons - Hire people

This year we were forced to move from a wonderful house (that was sold to a new owner) to an apartment for 3 people. Despite issues with maintenance and insects that had to be resolved in the place, which was highly recommended by several friends, it seems to now be working out okay. I really hated the thought of moving and felt I was entitled to movers, so I hired them. Best life decision. They give you boxes, and they are free. I rode around with them for a few solid days in my car with the seat folded down, but they were free, and mine. As pictured below, they give you tall boxes for all of your hanging clothes. So you don't have to like rip them out of your closet, throw them in a car, have them go errywhere, and then awkwardly make 10 trips to your car from your new place to get all of your things. I also seem to have alot of clothes...
Oh yeah, and movers move things for you. You kind of get everything ready, then you sit and watch as within a matter of 15 minutes they have most of your things in a truck and ready to go. Then the same thing happens when they are unloading. All of a sudden your things are there, and its done.




I think this was the most adult decision I've made next to buying my car and deciding to go back to school. And really when it comes down to it, if you hate doing manual labor as much as I do, get someone to do it for you. You, your family, and the people who you would have forced into helping you will all appreciate it.

Clusterfuck to school.

So as a few of you know now, I have quit my job and will be completing my postgrad Paralegal certificate. Pretty much I should have a post for everything that has gone on in my life up to this point, so I think I will work on that now that I have alot of free time on my hands. The overall feeling of the past few months was just me in the middle, and many other elements spinning around me. Much like the drug scene in Garden State.



But now I'm back. The job I despised is no longer a part of my life (though I will miss people there). I am so excited to get into my program and really start learning, and have a job that will be more of something I can picture myself doing longterm.

Right now though I am taking some time off and just being a student. And probably scheduling a massage sometime this week. No lie.

more JM wisdom

Because I really just feel like people should read this...

"I used to think that life was an intricate series of levers and pulleys, buttons and switches, Mexican standoffs and hostage negotiations. As I get older I realize that life is more Netherlands minimalist than Jackson Pollock. The problems don’t get fewer, and in fact they grow in number, but the way I index them in the database is different. More problems get filed under fewer category headers.

Things are getting simpler, and it’s making life better. Here’s the cheat sheet:

People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form."

--John Mayer (via one forty plus)

the bullshit deer.

Last night I went to see John Mayer live, and I was really impressed with his show.
Pretty much he is an amazing musician and I just feel like he and I would be BFF, and I really also think he needs to write a book. SW, who invited me out agreed, and he apparently doles out advice and real world thoughts at all of his shows.

The Bullshit Deer (I'm paraphrasing)
So you know those things that back when you were 21, 22, took you like 3 years to figure out? It would be like 'Hey! This looks like a great idea!' and then you know, 3 years later you realize it wasn't. It was complete bullshit. What you have to do is treat that idea like a deer, and you have to tag it as bullshit. That way when you see it coming back around you just know, you've already identified it as bullshit. You will not acknowledge this idea. Someone will be like 'Hey John! This could be great!' and you'll just be like 'Ohhhh no, I know you, you're the bullshit deer. This is a horrible idea. Go away!'


And so last night I actually got to tell that story, and luckily the person I was sharing this story with realized they were indeed the bullshit deer. SW and I are currently working on stickers or shirts so we may be able to actually tag these things. I figure it will save other people some trouble.

Also, please note our amazing seats! Really one of the best shows I've been to in awhile.
(photo via BlackBerry)

VOW

So VOW for this week is "Hello" by Lionel Richie. I think this has to be one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. I am still trying to decide which is creepier, the thing in the sculpture class, or the phone call. Either way, it makes me laugh every time. Probably not the point of the video...
I would actually like to meet the person who made this and ask them what the fuck they were thinking.

The best way to say something...

I have done alot of growing up over the past four years, and one of those things is just learning how to conduct yourself, generally. One of the most important things you learn as a woman, is sometimes the best way to say something is to not say it at all. Yes, sometimes it is important to express your opinions and feelings, when it is appropriate. Trust I am not a woman for complete silence and that whole "seen but not heard thing" but there are certain situations where its best just to not talk.

I think the most important lesson to learn is this:
If you have to sit down and actually say "I'm better than you!" to someone, you are not.

You really have to take the high road. I personally think that doesn't make you weak, it actually prevents you looking crazy. Let's take two real life examples (I will summarize)...

Scenario 1: So here is a generic situation. This guy breaks up with you, and you are mad. You do start thinking about it, and in the end, maybe he wasn't the best for you. Though you are still annoyed and you do still think he is a douche, it's probably best not to tell him that. Just think about the person on the receiving end...if someone completely blew up at you and explained what a horrible jackass you think they are, you show that you have alot of power to make them upset. People like power, they may actually be impressed at the power they have. You feed them. That is not the object. Take the high road, don't say anything. Again, put yourself in their shoes, if you just didn't hear from a person again (after you were a retard) until you saw or heard from them in an amicable situation, you would think more highly of them. And possibly even clearly see them as the bigger person.
Please also note, if you Facebook chat your ex boyfriend who broke up with you 3 months ago to let them know you're the bigger person and that they're an asshole, you should get your head checked. You are not too good for them, you're the exact opposite. You have a problem, and you are causing problems for those around you. Get help. And girls, if you have a friend like this, help her. "Friendervention" as they say in SATC2...she will thank you one day.


Scenario 2: A more personal experience that I thought about recently. This was kind of like a Jill and Bethenny situation, only homegirl and I were definitely not friends first. Pretty much she started dating someone I had been in a long term relationship with previously. I broke up with him. I could care less who he was dating, and actually I didn't want him in my life. He pulled psycho things like I mentioned in Scenario 1 (see above) and basically I just wanted him to leave me be. So this girl sent me some sort of Facebook courtesy message after there were 1800 photos of them together and awkward sexual wallposts basically saying "hey girl, im dating *****, I hope you don't mind! ttyl! love ya!"
I believe I sent something back to the effect of "Hey, thats cool, he is not a part of my life, I don't care. I hope yall are good together. Kind of think this message was unnecessary, if you felt the need to talk to me about it, it should have been done in person."
That was all. Within three days it turned into this girl telling our whole sorority house I was sending her and my ex boyfriend consistent hate messages, that I had cheated on him, that I threatened her...blah blah blah. I had friends who heard this on a regular basis living in the house, they told me, I was boiling angry. I just remember thinking that I had to take the high road. And I did. I never said anything to that girl, I didn't sit around and trash her character like she chose to sit around and trash mine. It wasn't worth it...what exactly would that prove? And also, the entire time she was running around raving like an idiot, nobody really believed her. At all. I didn't lose any friends at all, she did not become part of the clique she was gearing towards, because they were my friends. They thought she was crazy.
Where do we stand now? All of her friends seem to really like me, and we hang out...and she can't say hi to me in public.
Now I do joke about the fact that I should tell her she needs a nosejob or something, and given the circumstance, I could see it happening if the time was right. But really, that's mostly a joke.

So in the end, who wins...Jill or Bethenny?
I'll give you a hint, I also happen to think pointing is kind of rude too.

VOW

When I showed Best "Down Under" as my first VOW, she suggested this be the second one. This video doesn't even make sense. Dancing midget? Renaissance? That random blonde chick...

"Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats

Blanche Devereaux

As many of you have probably heard, in passing at least, Rue McClanahan who had played Blanche Devereaux on The Golden Girls passed away last week. I feel like every time a celeb passes now, I feel older. These people were actually part of my life, part of the movies and shows I watch, the music I listened to and grew up with.

But let me just take a moment to talk about Blanche and me, and why she will be so missed. I was introduced to the Girls most recently by a good gay friend I had worked with, and he just randomly started calling me Blanche. It was mostly because at the time I was like a serial dater, and I always wore pearls at work. He said I was a "proper southern woman with a wild side." Truth. Thus I just kind of took it on, I identified with Blanche to some degree. I named my Tumblr after Blanche. Most recently I also decided to introduce myself to strangers in bars as Blanche, just to see how well it went. I will have to explain the art of fake names at bars and what exactly prompted all that later on...

Although I truly do not have a favorite Golden Girl, I do appreciate the character and humor of Blanche Devereaux, and everything she means to all of us women with a bit of charm, sassiness, and a wild side. My wild side will never be quite like her's, however I can assure you, I will appreciate Rue for creating Blanche for many years to come.