Life Lessons: Don't be a Camille

I think we all know by now that I watch more of the Real Housewives franchises than any sane person probably should, but they are probably some of the most entertaining things on television. Everyone needs a guilty pleasure, and these happen to last all year. The only one I really tired of was New Jersey, purely because there was WAY too much Danielle Staub for me to enjoy it. That and Teresa's family might be bankrupt...and that just makes me uncomfortable. Oh and Jacqueline's felon daughter or whatever, it was too much.

That being said, I am way into the Atlanta and Beverly Hills franchises right now, finding both ridiculously enjoyable. Pretty much except for one person...Camille.



This woman is insane. Wow. I don't even know where to begin. Okay wait, let's start with the fact that she goes ahead and tells all of these women that she has four nannys for her two children that she had with a surrogate. I don't see the need to advertise that to a group of women, most of whom actually had children or currently have them, and they tend to interact with their children. That's what normal people do. She also was a total skank with other people's husbands...but that is one of those two sided deals. Until she started talking about when she got her implants removed. Why exactly would you make normal conversation about your breast implants, or lack thereof, or how yours are amazing...it just doesn't have to come up. Also consistently mentioning that her husband is an A-List celebrity, making her somehow higher in the pecking order than everyone else on the show. If you're defining yourself by your husband, that is a whole other set of problems you need to talk about.
The huge thing that bothers me is something of course that I have seen real people do in my life. She basically took some comment that Kyle (a housewife I kind of adore) made and lied about what she said, and what she meant. Causing drama where drama is not due is so beyond inappropriate. I don't understand how anyone could run their life off of making conflict with others. Why exactly does she want to cause a fight with everyone on the show? Camille is not the first, nor the last, person to engage in it, but it's just so unbearable. The worst part are those people who sit around her saying "Kyle and the other wives are just jealous..." What? Nobody is ever jealous of Camille. You deal with that until you no longer have to. Its not fun.

So, that brings me to my life lesson...
Don't be a Camille. Kelsey Grammer will leave you. And you'll be that awkward one at the Andy Cohen reunion special that nobody wants to sit with on the couch.

@23.5

A few days ago was my half birthday. I was thinking how much my life has changed since my birthday.

When I turned 23, I was completely at my wits end with my job. I didn't know what I would do at all. Right after my birthday, I started looking into going back to school. Within a week or two, I applied, and pretty much hitched onto the idea that I was quitting my job and going back to school. I knew about school in June, and had to stick it out until August to quit. In that time, I got in trouble at work for what I had written on an evaluation, and looking generally "mean" or "upset" all the time. I have actually gotten the "you look unhappy" a lot lately. I am not sure why, but I think my face might just look that way. I am a happy person. Maybe I am just thinking.

Either way, I look at then, and I look at now. My whole life has completely changed. I am getting a new job, I am waist deep into school. I am going to be making more money just by completing part of the training I am taking right now. By May I will have earning power, and a career I can take anywhere, which I may think about. I had probably one of the most amazing summers ever. I just feel like now I have it together, and I am going places, and it only took 6 months.

I also got 100 hits on my blog in one day yesterday, so I think I am kind of freaked out. And in celebration of my new job, I bought a few items. Mostly essentials. I think I will wait for my first check to get some more decadent things.

Well, I'm done waving my own flag for now. Y'all have a good weekend.

Truth.

(image via PostSecret)

The Trifecta, things to have.

On some random night out last year Best and I decided to ask people (guys) in general conversation if they had guns and land. Because pretty much that would be a quality to look for in a person. As the summer got closer, we realized boats were pretty neat too. Thus, The Trifecta was born. I will actually expand on these requirements later, because I have a fairly detailed and comical list. And someone may or may not have told me I should post it(haha). But here is a vocab primer of sorts. Please use this in your own lives.

The Trifecta: Guns, land, and boats.

the bullshit deer.

Last night I went to see John Mayer live, and I was really impressed with his show.
Pretty much he is an amazing musician and I just feel like he and I would be BFF, and I really also think he needs to write a book. SW, who invited me out agreed, and he apparently doles out advice and real world thoughts at all of his shows.

The Bullshit Deer (I'm paraphrasing)
So you know those things that back when you were 21, 22, took you like 3 years to figure out? It would be like 'Hey! This looks like a great idea!' and then you know, 3 years later you realize it wasn't. It was complete bullshit. What you have to do is treat that idea like a deer, and you have to tag it as bullshit. That way when you see it coming back around you just know, you've already identified it as bullshit. You will not acknowledge this idea. Someone will be like 'Hey John! This could be great!' and you'll just be like 'Ohhhh no, I know you, you're the bullshit deer. This is a horrible idea. Go away!'


And so last night I actually got to tell that story, and luckily the person I was sharing this story with realized they were indeed the bullshit deer. SW and I are currently working on stickers or shirts so we may be able to actually tag these things. I figure it will save other people some trouble.

Also, please note our amazing seats! Really one of the best shows I've been to in awhile.
(photo via BlackBerry)

The best way to say something...

I have done alot of growing up over the past four years, and one of those things is just learning how to conduct yourself, generally. One of the most important things you learn as a woman, is sometimes the best way to say something is to not say it at all. Yes, sometimes it is important to express your opinions and feelings, when it is appropriate. Trust I am not a woman for complete silence and that whole "seen but not heard thing" but there are certain situations where its best just to not talk.

I think the most important lesson to learn is this:
If you have to sit down and actually say "I'm better than you!" to someone, you are not.

You really have to take the high road. I personally think that doesn't make you weak, it actually prevents you looking crazy. Let's take two real life examples (I will summarize)...

Scenario 1: So here is a generic situation. This guy breaks up with you, and you are mad. You do start thinking about it, and in the end, maybe he wasn't the best for you. Though you are still annoyed and you do still think he is a douche, it's probably best not to tell him that. Just think about the person on the receiving end...if someone completely blew up at you and explained what a horrible jackass you think they are, you show that you have alot of power to make them upset. People like power, they may actually be impressed at the power they have. You feed them. That is not the object. Take the high road, don't say anything. Again, put yourself in their shoes, if you just didn't hear from a person again (after you were a retard) until you saw or heard from them in an amicable situation, you would think more highly of them. And possibly even clearly see them as the bigger person.
Please also note, if you Facebook chat your ex boyfriend who broke up with you 3 months ago to let them know you're the bigger person and that they're an asshole, you should get your head checked. You are not too good for them, you're the exact opposite. You have a problem, and you are causing problems for those around you. Get help. And girls, if you have a friend like this, help her. "Friendervention" as they say in SATC2...she will thank you one day.


Scenario 2: A more personal experience that I thought about recently. This was kind of like a Jill and Bethenny situation, only homegirl and I were definitely not friends first. Pretty much she started dating someone I had been in a long term relationship with previously. I broke up with him. I could care less who he was dating, and actually I didn't want him in my life. He pulled psycho things like I mentioned in Scenario 1 (see above) and basically I just wanted him to leave me be. So this girl sent me some sort of Facebook courtesy message after there were 1800 photos of them together and awkward sexual wallposts basically saying "hey girl, im dating *****, I hope you don't mind! ttyl! love ya!"
I believe I sent something back to the effect of "Hey, thats cool, he is not a part of my life, I don't care. I hope yall are good together. Kind of think this message was unnecessary, if you felt the need to talk to me about it, it should have been done in person."
That was all. Within three days it turned into this girl telling our whole sorority house I was sending her and my ex boyfriend consistent hate messages, that I had cheated on him, that I threatened her...blah blah blah. I had friends who heard this on a regular basis living in the house, they told me, I was boiling angry. I just remember thinking that I had to take the high road. And I did. I never said anything to that girl, I didn't sit around and trash her character like she chose to sit around and trash mine. It wasn't worth it...what exactly would that prove? And also, the entire time she was running around raving like an idiot, nobody really believed her. At all. I didn't lose any friends at all, she did not become part of the clique she was gearing towards, because they were my friends. They thought she was crazy.
Where do we stand now? All of her friends seem to really like me, and we hang out...and she can't say hi to me in public.
Now I do joke about the fact that I should tell her she needs a nosejob or something, and given the circumstance, I could see it happening if the time was right. But really, that's mostly a joke.

So in the end, who wins...Jill or Bethenny?
I'll give you a hint, I also happen to think pointing is kind of rude too.