The best way to say something...

I have done alot of growing up over the past four years, and one of those things is just learning how to conduct yourself, generally. One of the most important things you learn as a woman, is sometimes the best way to say something is to not say it at all. Yes, sometimes it is important to express your opinions and feelings, when it is appropriate. Trust I am not a woman for complete silence and that whole "seen but not heard thing" but there are certain situations where its best just to not talk.

I think the most important lesson to learn is this:
If you have to sit down and actually say "I'm better than you!" to someone, you are not.

You really have to take the high road. I personally think that doesn't make you weak, it actually prevents you looking crazy. Let's take two real life examples (I will summarize)...

Scenario 1: So here is a generic situation. This guy breaks up with you, and you are mad. You do start thinking about it, and in the end, maybe he wasn't the best for you. Though you are still annoyed and you do still think he is a douche, it's probably best not to tell him that. Just think about the person on the receiving end...if someone completely blew up at you and explained what a horrible jackass you think they are, you show that you have alot of power to make them upset. People like power, they may actually be impressed at the power they have. You feed them. That is not the object. Take the high road, don't say anything. Again, put yourself in their shoes, if you just didn't hear from a person again (after you were a retard) until you saw or heard from them in an amicable situation, you would think more highly of them. And possibly even clearly see them as the bigger person.
Please also note, if you Facebook chat your ex boyfriend who broke up with you 3 months ago to let them know you're the bigger person and that they're an asshole, you should get your head checked. You are not too good for them, you're the exact opposite. You have a problem, and you are causing problems for those around you. Get help. And girls, if you have a friend like this, help her. "Friendervention" as they say in SATC2...she will thank you one day.


Scenario 2: A more personal experience that I thought about recently. This was kind of like a Jill and Bethenny situation, only homegirl and I were definitely not friends first. Pretty much she started dating someone I had been in a long term relationship with previously. I broke up with him. I could care less who he was dating, and actually I didn't want him in my life. He pulled psycho things like I mentioned in Scenario 1 (see above) and basically I just wanted him to leave me be. So this girl sent me some sort of Facebook courtesy message after there were 1800 photos of them together and awkward sexual wallposts basically saying "hey girl, im dating *****, I hope you don't mind! ttyl! love ya!"
I believe I sent something back to the effect of "Hey, thats cool, he is not a part of my life, I don't care. I hope yall are good together. Kind of think this message was unnecessary, if you felt the need to talk to me about it, it should have been done in person."
That was all. Within three days it turned into this girl telling our whole sorority house I was sending her and my ex boyfriend consistent hate messages, that I had cheated on him, that I threatened her...blah blah blah. I had friends who heard this on a regular basis living in the house, they told me, I was boiling angry. I just remember thinking that I had to take the high road. And I did. I never said anything to that girl, I didn't sit around and trash her character like she chose to sit around and trash mine. It wasn't worth it...what exactly would that prove? And also, the entire time she was running around raving like an idiot, nobody really believed her. At all. I didn't lose any friends at all, she did not become part of the clique she was gearing towards, because they were my friends. They thought she was crazy.
Where do we stand now? All of her friends seem to really like me, and we hang out...and she can't say hi to me in public.
Now I do joke about the fact that I should tell her she needs a nosejob or something, and given the circumstance, I could see it happening if the time was right. But really, that's mostly a joke.

So in the end, who wins...Jill or Bethenny?
I'll give you a hint, I also happen to think pointing is kind of rude too.

VOW

When I showed Best "Down Under" as my first VOW, she suggested this be the second one. This video doesn't even make sense. Dancing midget? Renaissance? That random blonde chick...

"Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats

Blanche Devereaux

As many of you have probably heard, in passing at least, Rue McClanahan who had played Blanche Devereaux on The Golden Girls passed away last week. I feel like every time a celeb passes now, I feel older. These people were actually part of my life, part of the movies and shows I watch, the music I listened to and grew up with.

But let me just take a moment to talk about Blanche and me, and why she will be so missed. I was introduced to the Girls most recently by a good gay friend I had worked with, and he just randomly started calling me Blanche. It was mostly because at the time I was like a serial dater, and I always wore pearls at work. He said I was a "proper southern woman with a wild side." Truth. Thus I just kind of took it on, I identified with Blanche to some degree. I named my Tumblr after Blanche. Most recently I also decided to introduce myself to strangers in bars as Blanche, just to see how well it went. I will have to explain the art of fake names at bars and what exactly prompted all that later on...

Although I truly do not have a favorite Golden Girl, I do appreciate the character and humor of Blanche Devereaux, and everything she means to all of us women with a bit of charm, sassiness, and a wild side. My wild side will never be quite like her's, however I can assure you, I will appreciate Rue for creating Blanche for many years to come.